Special Announcement:
Zainal Abidin will be performing at the concert Trumpeting for Elephants on 14 December 2005 (8.00pm) at The Legend Hotel Kuala Lumpur and making a special appearance at concert Life is Great Across Boarders with the Operafest Children's Choir on 16 December 2005. Details and tickets, visit http://www.operafest.net/concerts.html
A special tribute to Zainal Abidin for his love and contribution to underprivileged chldren, read the story below...
In The Media
The New Sunday Times, Sunday People - Cover Story, 13 November 2005
Wounded boy’ Zainal Abidin, breaks the spell of the past to become a ‘healing father’ to his children and the underprivileged, writes ROZI ALI.
ON a parched Saturday afternoon and away from the glare of the limelight, Zainal Abidin arrived at Philea Home, which houses underprivileged children, in Kapar, Klang.
No, he did not come to do what he does best — sing and entertain. He had a story to tell, a grief to share and love to give.
"You and I come from the same background," he told his young audience.
It was a dramatic statement, prompting intense scrutiny and some bewilderment from the home’s 18 children who had expected an afternoon of songs and merry-making from one of Malaysia’s best-known artistes.
Ranging from age three to 13, the children are in the home because of poverty — and physical and emotional deprivation.
These are young lives fractured by alcoholic, drug-addicted and abusive parents or desperate single mothers.
The scars are there — a 13-year-old who looked no more than a scrawny eight-year-old, with curious eyes that frequently lapse into blank stares and apprehensive smiles that break into relief when you smile back and reach out for his hand.
Johor-born Zainal know too well the cavern of grief that deprivation and absent parents can create. Poverty forced his parents to give him away to his grandparents when he was three days old. And they were too poor to visit him during his childhood and adolescence.
As the only one among 10 children to be given away, he also knew what it felt like to be awash in waves of rejection.
In very simple Bahasa Melayu, 47-year-old Zainal told the children, "I was poor like you. My parents gave me away. I went through a very hard life. I was always scolded and beaten. I was hit, punched and kicked."
"But all that is in the past," he continued.
"It’s because of alcohol, drugs and abuse that you and I were abandoned. I don’t drink, gamble, beat my family or take drugs. We can change our lives."
Zainal was happy living with his grandparents. But it was short-lived. They died when he turned eight, leaving him as an unwanted burden. His parents did not claim him and so like a ball, he was passed from one relative another.
"That’s when the abuse started," recalled Zainal after giving away Deepavali goodies to the children.
"They treated me like a slave. I was tormented. A relative made me walk miles to the village grocer 10 consecutive times when she knew she could have me buy all the 10 items in one trip.
"I was beaten. I was not given proper meals. I was not allowed to eat with them. I ate leftovers, whatever I could scrape from their plates while washing the dishes."
Zainal considered himself lucky that he managed to go to school. After school, he would attend to the household chores, work at an ais kacang stall and do menial jobs.
"I studied until form three. I did well in the Lower Certificate Examination, seven As. But I had to fend for myself. There was no choice. Whatever work I could get, I did. I was a labourer, digging drains in Johor Baru."
He did not receive any formal education in music. But he grew up with music around him. His family was musically inclined.
His grandfather played with a small traditional music orchestra. His uncles played various musical instruments. He learned by listening and observing. By 12, he had taught himself to play the trombone.
His first "singing gigs" were as a mourner at Chinese funerals, wailing his heart out to earn a few cents. That incredibly led to several opportunities to perform at small functions.
After a few years, he formed his own band, the Headwinds. The rest, as they say, is history.
But it is not his musical journey that he wanted to share with the children. It’s his journey from the wounds of childhood to where he is today.
"I was in a rage inside," he told the children.
"But I knew I cannot resolve my anger by taking revenge or doing to others what they did to me. I believed we can change our own lives.
"God is merciful. No matter what religion you believe in, God is God."
Zainal reckoned he freed himself from the past by accepting what happened and forgiving those who had wronged him.
When he turned 18, he searched for his parents and siblings. The fifth child, Zainal said he found out that his parents were so poor that if his mother had kept him, he would have died in infancy.
His father was a fireman whose gambling habit wreaked misery for the family in those early years. Now he sees his mother’s act not as abandonment but one of love and sacrifice.
Zainal has since become very close to his mother who lives in Kluang. His father has passed away in 1982. Close friends describe his generosity towards his family as one without limits, emotionally and financially.
"I keep in touch with my relatives. I tell the youngsters in the family that although your father and mother did those things to me, I don’t bear them or you any grudge. I’ve long forgiven them."
Did forgiveness come easy?
"If I don’t forgive then I don’t deserve to call myself a Muslim," he said simply.
"Some think I am not a suitable person to represent Islam, especially when I help non-Muslim organisations or visit non-Muslim homes during Ramadan.
"But spirituality transcends race and religion. Spirituality comes from the heart, not the mosque."
This belief resonated in his talk to the children.
"You and I are the same. We are human. Don’t look at me as an alien. There is no race in me."
Sensing that this may be hard for them to grasp, he added, "If you’re an Indian, look at me as an Indian. If you’re a Chinese, look at me as a Chinese."
As Canadian author Michael Ondaatje pointed out, "There are those destroyed by unfair- ness and those who are not."
Zainal belongs to the latter group. An American survey on the transfer of child abuse shows that 70 per cent of parents who were abused as children were suspected of being abusers of their children.
The wounds from an oppressive childhood can reverberate into adulthood; a reality understood first-hand by Zainal.
This explains why he, wife and manager Angelina Asmawi, and five-year-old son Isaac Iman have been spending time visiting homes and reaching out to deprived youngsters. He has two other children, Mikhail, 13, and Timor, 12, from a previous marriage.
Zainal’s innate humility allows him to recognise that he and his family have themselves much to learn from their interaction with the children they visit.
"I come here for myself and my family. I bring my son along because I want to teach him not to become a racist. I want to teach him to respect all forms of life, humans and animals as well as the environment."
A man with simple needs, Zainal said, "God has given me so much. I’m contented with what I’ve achieved and have. Now is the time to give back."
In life’s journey, we all have ghosts. We try hard to exorcise them. But Zainal has learned to live with the ghosts from his past, allowing them to become a premise for the formation of his personal value system, inner strength and resilience — and pursuit of his obligation toward a just future that’s free of all forms of abuse and deprivation, and where children have no notion of race.
A glimpse of that future can already be seen in Isaac and the children who received Zainal’s healing touch.
* Philea Home is located at No 35, Jalan Dato Kaya Kecil 4A, Taman Indah, Kapar, Klang. Those wishing to help can contact the home’s director, P.Yoges and Rev Ezra Alexander Muth at 03-32503494 or 012-3423072. |
